Forever and Always
by Alikinginnit
Summary: 5 years on from one of the worst days of Peter's life, how will he cope? Will the memories of the day drive him to succumb to an old addiction?


**So this is a Carla and Peter oneshot and its quite long but I hope you like it. Thank you! It's based December 2015 with certain things slightly different and Peters affair with Tina never happened. This is from Carla's POV.**

"Hey, are you going to be okay today?" I ask Peter as I go over to him, straightening up his tie for him.

He's wearing a full black suit as I wear a black dress which falls to just above my knees.

"You don't need to worry about me," he tells me to which I frown.

"Maybe not, but I do anyway. Just remember that I'm here and if you need to talk, we'll talk. If you can't handle it, we'll go. Whatever you want baby." I tell him as I place my arms around his shoulders, pulling him into me.

"Thank you." He says comfortingly as he lets out a small smile but I can tell he's still worried about today, about the memories, about how people will be and about whether it might push him to his oldest weakness.

* * *

"We are gathered here today to remember the lives lost on this day 5 years ago."

The voice sounds down the almost silent street as we stand, among the crowd staring up at the vicar next to the two photos.

"We are here to remember the lives of Ashley Peacock and Molly Dobbs that were cruelly taken away, as there friends and loved ones."

I look up to see Peter, staring forwards at the picture of Ashley and I know he's just replaying it over and over in his head.

"You okay?" I whisper to him as he suddenly snaps out of his trance to look up at me, tears in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I try to take his answer seriously but as the time goes by, I know he can't handle it. To everyone else, it may seem like he's handling it well but I know him and I can tell when he's not okay.

When it's acceptable and the main part of the service is over, i pull Peter to one side as I start to talk to him.

"It's okay to not be okay, darlin." I tell him quietly as he looks at me, still saying nothing but I can see the pain in his eyes.

"Come on." I grab his hand, leading him into the Rovers, hoping it will be relatively quiet as most people still seem to be out on the street.

As we walk in, it's obvious what little people that are in there know the significance of the day and Peter's involvement as everyone seems to stare when we walk in.

"You sit down, I'll get us some drinks." I tell him as he sits in one of the booths, still remaining unresponsive.

Walking over to the bar, I see Michelle.

"Hey Michelle, can we get a couple of glasses of orange juice please?" I ask her.

"Sure, coming up." She says as she brings them over to the bar, filling them up.

"How's he holding up?" She asks me, gesturing towards where Peter is still sitting, silently.

"Not well. I can't blame him to be honest." I tell her as I pay her.

"Yeah, this day must bring back a lot of bad memories." She says, handing me the drinks over the bar.

As I walk over to sit down, I place both our drinks down on the table before sitting opposite Peter.

"I got you an orange juice." I tell him, softly.

"I can think of something else I'd prefer." He says, staring blankly forward whilst sipping his drink.

"You may prefer it but we both know it wouldn't be for the best. It would only cause more heart-ache." I try to reason with him as he goes silent again.

"Just remember I'm here, whatever you want to talk about or not talk or anything. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

He remains silent as I continue.

"If you get tempted just think, okay? Think about me. Think about Simon. Think about Charlotte." I say as he smiles, thinking of our miracle.

She was born three months early and had to be put straight into an incubator. The doctors told us to be prepared for the worst and we all thought we'd lose her before we even got to know her.

But, here we are and our happy and healthy daughter just turned one a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah, you three are the only things that have been getting me through today." He says and I can see he means it, though he's struggling.

Of course he's struggling.

"Come on, let's go back. The kids are with your dad so we can go back to the house together. We can watch some TV, go to sleep? Whatever you want." I tell him, standing up as we finish our drinks.

"Thank you." He tells me sweetly as I lean forward, planting a kiss on his lips.

"Don't worry about it, come on." I tell him, grabbing his hand, leaving the pub.

When we walk down the street once again, there are less people standing outside than before but still so many. They aren't saying anything, they're just stood, staring at the pictures, at the memorial.

So many of the residents are gathered round.

Claire, Josh and Freddie are all standing, smiling as they remember Ashley. It's clear they're finding it hard but they're managing, as is Tyrone.

In the distance, I can see Nick Tilsley as we walk by. He's just standing and staring, just like everyone else. I briefly consider going over to talk to him, he's the only other person that truly understands how Peter is feeling right now.

Mainly because he's probably feeling the same.

I decide against it as I see him being joined by David and Kylie and the rest of his family.

After the seemingly long walk, we reach the door of the house we've been living in since not long after I found out I was pregnant.

Pushing it open, we still remain silent and instead go and sit down.

We stay silent, just sitting next to each other like strangers until I just can't handle it any more.

"Talk to me." I beg him as I look him in the eyes.

Just as I think he's going to shut me out, I see the pain in his eyes as he starts to break down in my arms. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close to me as I tell him everything's going to be okay.

Because that's all I can do.

"He should have survived." Is all Peter can get out as he desperately tries to hold himself together. He doesn't need to tell me who "he" is because I know. I know he's talking about Ashley and I know he can't handle the guilt.

"It's not fair. I know." I say to him as I watch my husband, my best friend, the love of my life break down.

"He was a good person. Why not me?" I feel my heart break, watching him blame himself whilst wishing it was him instead.

"Don't say that." I tell him as I wipe some of the tears off his face.

"You mean the world to me Peter Barlow. And Simon, and Charlotte too. There are so many people that care about you. Ashley would want you to be happy." I tell him, softly as he looks up to me, wiping the tears off his face as he tries to compose himself.

"I'm sorry." He apologises as I frown and shake my head.

"There's no need." I tell him simply, pulling his face close to mine, kissing him gently.

"Come on, let's go back out there." Peter suddenly says, straightening his blazer as he stands up.

"Are you sure? No one will blame you if we just stay here baby."

"No, don't worry. It's fine, I'm fine." He reassures me as he walks over to the door and opens it.

"You coming or what?"

* * *

"Claire, Ashley's wife is here to make a speech."

We stand, once again, among most of the streets residents as we remember the tram crash. It may have been five years ago but we all still remember it and for some of us, it will be remembered for the rest of our lives. I know Peter will.

"Are you okay?" I ask him again.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He answers, just like earlier. But I can see the determination in his eyes and I know how much he means it.

* * *

"Hey baby girl." Peter says as I bounce Charlotte up and down in my arms.

"Come on Si," I shout through to the living room as both him and Ken walk through.

"Did you guys have a nice day?" Peter asks the both as they nod and we leave, ready to go back home.

We walk slowly down the street whilst watching Simon walk ahead, Charlotte in Peters arms.

"Thank you, for today. I don't think I'd have gotten through it with you to be honest." He tells me.

"It's okay, no matter what. I'll always be here for you baby. Forever and always."

 **Thank you so much for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think as I'm very unsure? I apologise for that ending. I couldn't think of an appropriate way so just went with that and I only now realise how unbelievably cheesy it is (oh my life, I'm sorry). Thanks again!**


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